Engagement rings are just baubles on appendages

DEAR ABBY: I despise wearing rings, which is a problem because I plan to become engaged. I'm OK with a plain wedding band, but baubles on appendages interfere with useful work and creativity, and they turn me off.
I have an expensive heirloom ring I would gladly give to my lady if she'd keep it in the safe deposit box where it belongs. I don't want to insure it, deal with it if she loses it, or know I caused her to be injured if a thug tried to steal it. If I give it to her, she'll want to wear it. She doesn't need an ornament to prove she's special or loved.
What can I use in lieu of an engagement ring? I'd rather give her an annuity or something useful. The thought of a $10,000 ring on a hand that belongs to a productive and intelligent working woman suggests self-indulgent exhibitionism.
I know I'm fighting an uphill battle, but my feelings are valid to me. I feel the same when I see rings in the workplace and socially. Why not just duct-tape a $1,000 bill to your forehead if you want to call attention to yourself? Any ideas? -- PRACTICAL IN DENVER

DEAR PRACTICAL: Before you pop the question, be absolutely sure you and your lady have a meeting of the minds on this subject. Candidly, from the tone of your letter you come across as rigid, opinionated and controlling. While you are entitled to your biases, if you marry an "intelligent and productive working woman," she should be able to decide for herself what kind of jewelry is appropriate.
Also, I find it sad that you would rather keep an expensive heirloom ring hidden in a safety deposit box than have your lady enjoy it -- presuming, of course, that it's her taste and she WOULD enjoy wearing it. So if you're looking for ammunition in arguing this with your girlfriend, I'm sorry, but you have asked the wrong columnist.


This is just funny to me. While I do have some very efficient friends (Luce’s) and I can see that perhaps this man really feels that typical engagement rings, are simply “baubles on appendages”, I would think this uber minimalist attitude comes through in other areas and that his girlfriend would have some clue already of what she’s involved with. He clearly has some sort of issue that needs to be worked out and Abby’s right on calling him rigid, opinionated, and controlling. I for one love my wedding ring and often look at it and smile. (yes, I know….new brides, huh??) If it makes me happy, its worth it, right??

Either way it made me chuckle that he’d rather propose with an annuity than a ring that would “suggest self-indulgent exhibitionism” and I thought I’d share.

Darn you wine gods!

I hate disappointing wine experiences. Not when you unsuspectingly open what should be a perfectly good bottle and its gone bad/spoiled. That stuff happens sometimes, although I will say that we’re rather lucky and it hasn’t happened much. I mean when you purchase a bottle, maybe its expensive, maybe its not, but for whatever reason you have hopes that it will be good and then you open it….and its not what you hoped. The torture continues, as you hope that “it just needs some air” so after some vigorous “air” via swishing, decanting, aerating, etc, you taste again….and still, its just not that good.

This happened over the weekend. I picked up a bottle of Napa County Line, a merlot/cab blend that from Robery Sinskey, who I typically like. We were in Kansas City, so we took it back to the hotel and opened it up and it was just way too fruit forward, almost juice like, minus the sugar, of course. Air didn’t help, temperature change didn’t help. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good. And we had no other wine in the hotel to make up for it- we couldn't say c'est la vie and open something else. Instead we suffered through about half of it, then went about our evening. The next morning while packing, I looked at the bottle on the desk and I was almost sad. Like the bottle had let me down in some way. I angrily shook my fist in the air and said “darn you, wine gods, darn you!!”.

I didn’t really, but it made a good ending, didn’t it?

Watch out for the "Throwed Rolls"

Recently Mr. Lush and I drove to Table Rock Lake to visit my parents. We left early to get ahead of I-44 traffic and thus arrived in Springfield, Missouri in time to eat at Lamberts. Mr. Lush has wanted to eat at Lamberts every time we go to Table Rock and every year we don’t because the wait is just too long, always at least an hour. But not this time. This time we wait. For an hour. In high 90 degree heat. Upon studying the menu, I noted that it said they don’t take credit cards. What? Who doesn’t take credit cards? To further puzzle me, it said “checks welcome”. What?? Who on early doesn’t take credit cards but takes checks???!! To my additional dismay, they also don’t serve alcohol. Not even a Busch Light. What??? So, we have to wait an hour, can’t drink, and have to pay in cash?? I look at Mr. Lush and think “this better be worth it”.

We are seated at almost exactly an hour. We of course know what we want. Within 3 minutes of sitting, I see that yes, they really do live up their name “home of the throwed rolls”- they really do toss them at you. The roll-thrower is quite good and can toss lightly or chuck it across the room with accuracy. And they are tasty rolls.

On to the food. Within 10 minutes of sitting down, our food arrived. Tons of it and its cheap. Huge open faced roast beef sandwich with 2 sides, with free food "refills" should I have had room, for 10.99. In addition, they are walking around with about 4 more sides-such as fried okra, fried potatoes, macaroni and tomatoes and something else. I don’t know who on earth could eat that much to get a REFILL. It was all pretty good-home style cooking. Not my everyday fare, but good. Mr. Lush got the meatloaf which was a bit dry, but the rest was good.

So, we waited an hour, but ordered, were served, finished eating and paid in 30 minutes. So all in all it was a one hour thirty minute dining experience for about $35 including tip. Is it worth it, you ask? Well, if you’ve never been, sure, go once. If you love homestyle cooking, sure, lots of good food for cheap. But will we be going back? Not for another 5-10 years, if that. I’m a fan of less of a wait, a place to sit comfortably while I wait, a tasty alcoholic beverage option while I wait for an hour, and the convenience of paying with a credit card. I'll take all that over a "throwed roll".

But that’s me.