Friday, November 16, 2007

Tortured with cookies…one of many ways I don’t want to die

Probably number one, or at least in the top few, of ways I don’t want to die is how Nick Stokes, CSI, almost died in an episode a few years back. It was directed by Quentin Tarantino and thus was great. Anyway, Nick got buried alive in a clear coffin. He was allowed enough air to stay alive for 12 hours, but fire eating ants were able to crawl in.
Yeah. Lets talk about how 1) I don’t like bugs 2) although I’m not particularly claustrophobic, I’m pretty sure I would be if I was buried alive in a coffin and 3) how horrible, to die that slowly. So, that’s pretty much one of the worst ways I can think of to die…other than a recent story at a local school (ok, ok, it’s the school I go to)….

Three men went to James' house to buy marijuana, but two of them grabbed the drugs and fled, leaving the third behind. The suspects held that man, who is in his late teens, and told him he needed to find $400 for the drugs …..The suspects beat the man with a wooden paddle, burned his neck and shoulders with cookies immediately after taking them from the oven, shaved off some of his hair and poured urine over him from a soda bottle.

The whole story:

There’s so much fodder in this story I don’t know what to do. A) since when do drug dealers make freshly baked cookies? B) Why did they burn him with cookies and not the PAN ITSELF? C) How stoned do you need to be to think burning someone with cookies is a good idea? D) Why is there a wooden paddle around? Was it a ping pong paddle? Who the hell has a wooden paddle around? E) Why just some of his hair? F) Why is there urine in a soda bottle?

Absolutely insane.

No comments: